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Playing The Dating Game

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Rather, the goal is to have two wins rather than one. In the final analysis, winning in the game of love means that two people claim success, not just one.

The primary fear that many ladies have is that most men are "players. Now, if a man plays dirty, that's another story; he deserves to be written off as a bad player.

The woman's responsibility is to determine whether the man she dates is willing to play the game with integrity.

Furthermore, the woman has every right to call a foul. Not only is the woman carrying the ball, she must also appoint herself the official, the umpire, and the referee.

In other words, she has the responsibility to call each play. Frankly, the man is free to do the very same if a woman disregards all rules of fair play.

Both men and women who say they refuse to "play games" are asserting their belief that it is correct to play fair, and so prefer to assume that the other guy wants to do the same.

This is where we run into trouble. You can never assume the other person has as much integrity as you do. Think seriously about this: Since when has life ever been completely fair?

How many people do you know who have been wounded by a broken heart? In fact, they chose to play defense, with blindfolds on. Sadly , these well-meaning romantics keep playing without seeingover and over again!

And they wonder, "Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always left with a broken heart? Can you imagine any professional football or basketball player running around the field or court wearing blindfolds and flatly refusing to see what's going on around him?

Of course not. The idea is beyond absurd. Yet that is what too many daters do. Unfortunately, some women and men as well , assume that "being in the game" means we are somehow doing something wrong, immoral, or unfair.

Consequently, they feel justified in refusing to play. What they don't realize is that if they are dating, they're already in the game. Frankly, this "See no evil, hear no evil" foolishness does not serve anybody well.

Sometimes you must get your fingernails a little dirty and come down off that Ivory Tower where everything and everybody is supposedly fair and reasonable.

You would be better off allowing yourself to experience the sweat and tears of a real game. Furthermore, having become better at understanding the strategy of dating, you will have gained the skill to quite possibly accomplish your goal of finding love in the future.

In other words, you are still a winner in the game of love because you played a good game. The rules are pretty much anything you want them to be.

The rules have to do with your personal needs and values. Know what they are; have some flexibility, but do not change your values for the sake of his convenience.

Not ever. That doesn't happen in sports, nor should it happen in dating. Just know that a good man will respect your parameters and values, while a non-committed man will not.

Pretty much, they're almost always exactly the same. They go something like this:. They make it easy. They want to have sex with you.

The question isdo they want you for a night, a season, or for a lifetime? The woman must ask herself, "How do I recognize if this man is a keeper and how do I know if he truly cares for me?

Although men and women seem to have different short-term goals, when all is said and done, our long terms goals are similar.

We both want love, fidelity, great sex, and usually children, in due time. Men and women may have different ways of getting from A to Z, but that doesn't mean we don't have the same long-term vision.

Just remember, both sexes have the right to call a foul whenever they need to, thereby ensuring that the game is played with decency.

However, women owe it to themselves to develop an intelligent strategy for dating expertly by developing some rules about what constitutes a good game.

How does she do this? It's not that complicated. In the beginning stages of dating, try to keep an open mind. Don't decide you only have "one type.

Once you acquire a positive perspective about the game of love , you will no longer need to concern yourself with whether you might "lose.

No longer will you be content to stand on the sidelines waiting for someone to "hand you the ball.

First you have to play by the rules, then you can forget the rules and play from your heart. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

Hello RubyRed From what I hear, casual sex is the norm for college students and even high school students, within approved groups for teens who are not in college.

I believe smartphones have had a part in contributing to the demise of formal dating. As humans, we tend to take the "easy way out.

As always, it is up to the woman to "lift up the man. You mentioned that you have girlfriends who "don't care. But there will come a day when she will care that she lowered her standards.

Men used to put women on a pedestal because she belonged there. Now, girls have become like boys. Frankly, as sexist as that seems, it isn't attractive to the make species.

But, I am speaking of a deeper matter and going out on a tangent. I was raised in the UK until I was ten then moved to the states Ohio.

I'm currently in Florida. I don't see much difference, it's more common for women in the UK to initiate and dating in the USA is more of a formal thing, hook ups are the normal these days for both.

Netflix and chill is the new dating. I appreciate your criticism, RubyRed. Where are you from? I know young women in the United States alone.

My methods work for them. Are you an American? I like reading your articles Yves, but please take this as constructive criticism, I think your perspective is out of sync with my generation.

The boys aren't playing the game, they took the ball threw it away and went home to play Xbox. Not all, but enough good men to cause problems.

Most of my friends act like they don't care and can be happy being single or fighting over the few guys who just want to have FWB.

I used to have this dream list of the guy I wanted to marry, now I'm just hoping for a bf before I turn thirty and the few guys still dating start ignoring me altogether.

If you girls only knew, you girls always have the advantage — until you fall in love. And then you are done for.

But you do because most are. Live To Write Did I forget to respond to you? Not sure. Anyway, my bad. If I need a secretary, you'll be the first guy I'll call.

I appreciate your spirit. Not to mention, you've got good game. You'll know in this step of the game if this interest is something you want to continue to pursue.

Be coy. Again, ensuring that you are keeping pace with their dating style, flirt and encourage their attentions in whatever ways would be most effective for them.

More in tips. Stay detached. This step may be hard to do, so at the very least pretend detachment.

This step isn't meant to make you play hard to get. In fact, it allows you a little bit of room to make strategic moves that you otherwise couldn't if you let yourself fall too hard too fast.

Titillate their senses. The trick to making someone like you is to convince them that when they're around you they're happier!

So, when you get the chance to spend some time with them, use it wisely. Titillate each of their five senses to create that sense of happiness when you're around.

Challenge them in ways they aren't used to being challenged. By challenging them,you're accomplishing two extremely important points in a dating game.

You are foremost arousing their passions by challenging them. They feel excited and worked up, which is good when you're wanting to play with their minds.

You're also providing the segue way for the next step! Put the ball in their court. This can be accomplished by challenging them, speaking up about your feelings, or anything else that tells them that it's their turn to make the next move.

What fun is a game of cards if you're the only one playing? Surprise them. Predictability is when the games end and when the winners are chosen, so when they begin to predict or corner you in a game, throw them a curve ball.

This is not to say start listening to rock if you hate rock, but do something out of the norm for you. If you never call him until he calls you, make the first move.

Spicing things up will ensure you the upper hand. Take it all in stride. Remember that in the end, these are just games people use to test the waters and get a feel for the other person.

Things could be very different when a solid relationship is built, so it's important to continue to be yourself and honest throughout the whole game process.

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes. Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self.

To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates — free! Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program.

She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills.

She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence.

She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully. The original image was altered for this use.

Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Playing The Dating Game Video

PLAYING THE DATING GAME WITH MY MOM!! Learn Cashpoint Wette Keep playing defense. What Are the Rules? If you want to succeed in the game of love you need to place yourself on the winning Loot Game, which means She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. A real man comes Online Casino Jackpot Tracker want a whole woman, not Casino Online Betting the parts he doesn't have himself. She is wise enough to know you don't give your attention to any man who hasn't earned it yet. In the final analysis, winning in the game of love means that two people claim success, not just one.

Playing The Dating Game Video

PLAYING THE DATING GAME WITH MY MOM!!

Playing The Dating Game - rules for playing the dating game best dating chat app

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When we go into relationships with these limiting beliefs, we end up acting out a self-fulfilling prophecy. Relationships are a two-way street.

As we work through what happened, we have to own both what we brought into the relationship and the times when we held back. Were we really engaged with the other person?

Did we express the things we truly wanted and fully jump in? Were we true to ourselves? Dating is a great opportunity to measure and examine our interactions in a variety of situations.

We can also see the times when we had different expectations or desires than the other person. Sometimes we reach the point in our relationship when things start to get serious.

The best relationships allow us to be our true selves. The best relationships are great because they bring out the best traits and strengths in both parties.

Is there more to your apprehension? If you find some genuine incongruences, then they need to be addressed. Whatever you learn from dating, it can be a great opportunity to explore some of these larger questions about ourselves and how we work with and interact with other people.

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes. Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self.

To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Liked this post and want more? As they say in sports: The best defense is a good offense. In fact, this truth applies to all aspects of life, of which dating is only one example.

Although dating has some features of sportsmanship, it need not be treated as a competition. We need not date with the idea that one person suffers a loss while the other one wins.

Dating should not be a thing of chalking up points and "smashing" the opponent. Rather, the goal is to have two wins rather than one. In the final analysis, winning in the game of love means that two people claim success, not just one.

The primary fear that many ladies have is that most men are "players. Now, if a man plays dirty, that's another story; he deserves to be written off as a bad player.

The woman's responsibility is to determine whether the man she dates is willing to play the game with integrity. Furthermore, the woman has every right to call a foul.

Not only is the woman carrying the ball, she must also appoint herself the official, the umpire, and the referee.

In other words, she has the responsibility to call each play. Frankly, the man is free to do the very same if a woman disregards all rules of fair play.

Both men and women who say they refuse to "play games" are asserting their belief that it is correct to play fair, and so prefer to assume that the other guy wants to do the same.

This is where we run into trouble. You can never assume the other person has as much integrity as you do. Think seriously about this: Since when has life ever been completely fair?

How many people do you know who have been wounded by a broken heart? In fact, they chose to play defense, with blindfolds on. Sadly , these well-meaning romantics keep playing without seeingover and over again!

And they wonder, "Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always left with a broken heart? Can you imagine any professional football or basketball player running around the field or court wearing blindfolds and flatly refusing to see what's going on around him?

Of course not. The idea is beyond absurd. Yet that is what too many daters do. Unfortunately, some women and men as well , assume that "being in the game" means we are somehow doing something wrong, immoral, or unfair.

Consequently, they feel justified in refusing to play. What they don't realize is that if they are dating, they're already in the game.

Frankly, this "See no evil, hear no evil" foolishness does not serve anybody well. Sometimes you must get your fingernails a little dirty and come down off that Ivory Tower where everything and everybody is supposedly fair and reasonable.

You would be better off allowing yourself to experience the sweat and tears of a real game. Furthermore, having become better at understanding the strategy of dating, you will have gained the skill to quite possibly accomplish your goal of finding love in the future.

In other words, you are still a winner in the game of love because you played a good game. The rules are pretty much anything you want them to be.

The rules have to do with your personal needs and values. Know what they are; have some flexibility, but do not change your values for the sake of his convenience.

Not ever. That doesn't happen in sports, nor should it happen in dating. Just know that a good man will respect your parameters and values, while a non-committed man will not.

Pretty much, they're almost always exactly the same. They go something like this:. They make it easy. They want to have sex with you.

The question isdo they want you for a night, a season, or for a lifetime? The woman must ask herself, "How do I recognize if this man is a keeper and how do I know if he truly cares for me?

Although men and women seem to have different short-term goals, when all is said and done, our long terms goals are similar.

We both want love, fidelity, great sex, and usually children, in due time. Men and women may have different ways of getting from A to Z, but that doesn't mean we don't have the same long-term vision.

Just remember, both sexes have the right to call a foul whenever they need to, thereby ensuring that the game is played with decency.

However, women owe it to themselves to develop an intelligent strategy for dating expertly by developing some rules about what constitutes a good game.

How does she do this? It's not that complicated. In the beginning stages of dating, try to keep an open mind. Don't decide you only have "one type.

Once you acquire a positive perspective about the game of love , you will no longer need to concern yourself with whether you might "lose. No longer will you be content to stand on the sidelines waiting for someone to "hand you the ball.

First you have to play by the rules, then you can forget the rules and play from your heart. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

Hello RubyRed From what I hear, casual sex is the norm for college students and even high school students, within approved groups for teens who are not in college.

I believe smartphones have had a part in contributing to the demise of formal dating. As humans, we tend to take the "easy way out.

As always, it is up to the woman to "lift up the man. You mentioned that you have girlfriends who "don't care.

But there will come a day when she will care that she lowered her standards. Men used to put women on a pedestal because she belonged there.

Now, girls have become like boys. Frankly, as sexist as that seems, it isn't attractive to the make species. But, I am speaking of a deeper matter and going out on a tangent.

I was raised in the UK until I was ten then moved to the states Ohio. I'm currently in Florida. I don't see much difference, it's more common for women in the UK to initiate and dating in the USA is more of a formal thing, hook ups are the normal these days for both.

Netflix and chill is the new dating. I appreciate your criticism, RubyRed. Where are you from? I know young women in the United States alone.

My methods work for them. Are you an American? I like reading your articles Yves, but please take this as constructive criticism, I think your perspective is out of sync with my generation.

The boys aren't playing the game, they took the ball threw it away and went home to play Xbox. Not all, but enough good men to cause problems.

Most of my friends act like they don't care and can be happy being single or fighting over the few guys who just want to have FWB.

I used to have this dream list of the guy I wanted to marry, now I'm just hoping for a bf before I turn thirty and the few guys still dating start ignoring me altogether.

If you girls only knew, you girls always have the advantage — until you fall in love. And then you are done for. But you do because most are.

Live To Write Did I forget to respond to you? Not sure. Anyway, my bad. If I need a secretary, you'll be the first guy I'll call.

I appreciate your spirit. Not to mention, you've got good game. Probably too good!! You're funny, Terrielynn1. I do my best to assuage the fear of dating, but it doesn't always work.

Luckily, you don't have to think about it. Thanks for commenting! I love the sports comparison. I haven't been in the game in a very long time.

I wouldn't even know what the rules are. It's probably a good thing I am not. I don't like games. Interesting read. Thank you. I won't ask even about your "economics" comment.

Suffice it to say, I disagree. It's all about playing fair and not rolling over and playing dead. That, specifically, is what this article is all about.

People who play the game don't know their value and are testing to find it. Otherwise, there is no game. Economics is not a game. Applying this game mentality to real life is how you develop a manipulative deceptive outlook on relationships.

Very well said and I very much like your comparing it to sports; because like sports, healthy dating does require much effort I love your suggestion to "date with a attitude of having fun and gaining experience".

I enjoyed this hub as I do everything I have read of yours I really think you ought to think of a book maybe The good news is that just like players in sports, those who date have the opportunity to become more experienced and hopefully, wiser - even if the outcome wasn't the one they had hoped for.

Hi Nell Rose. I hadn't heard that one. Hopefully, I can convince some women to begin turning that scenario around, so that she can have the winning play!

Thank you for visiting and commenting!! I always remember the analogy, what does football and sex have in common?

I'm so glad you enjoyed the sports analogy. I thought it was fun and hopefully, somewhat helpful for those in need of some dating "strategies. What a wonderful read and from a fresh prescpective..

I like the whole sports analogy or the sports frame of mind, but nonetheless it was a treat to read : bless you.

Well hello Moonfroth. I do so appreciate your having commented on Value 1. Sometimes I let political correctness get the better of me.

However, women can now read for themselves, from a man who knows men and women , that indeed men are always focused on sex, but that women still retain the ability to engage a man's loftier sentiments, that is, if she plays the game well.

I love that you expounded upon the 1 essential point so beautifully! Speaking of thankfulness, please know that I am delighted with your kind words regarding my "careful, but natural" way, and too, your excellent points on how I might have improved my article not to mention the typos.

I am not surprised in the least that women came up to you in that social setting you spoke of - even though you supposedly did next to nothing to attract attention.

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